Hi. I’m Cammy.
Well, I’m not really Cammy.
Cammy is a penname I’ve created for myself because I want to be anonymous. Super anonymous. As in, if anyone-ever-finds-out-my-real-identity-I’ll-crawl-into-a-hole-and-never-come-out kind of anonymous.
It’s crazy, but it just might work. I’m not the first person to ever hide behind the wall of the internet.
In any case, hi.
I’m Cammy.
I have quite a story for you.
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I’m 29. 29, single, and no prospects on the horizon. I’m a lowly secretary living out my days in an unassuming Auckland (New Zealand) suburb. My Chinese friend keeps telling me that I should get a move on – that by 30, I’m considered ‘spoiled goods’ (her words, not mine). I find similar attitudes with others here in AKL. “When are you getting married?” I hear all-too-frequently from probing relatives. “You’re getting on a bit now! How about that nice man who works at the bakery up the road?”
Ugh.
I’m also pretty fat. That’s blunt. I guess the medical term is ‘borderline obese’. I never used to be this way – 2-3 years ago I was sitting comfortably around the size 10-12 region. Now I’m reaching 18-20 or so. It sucks. I miss the days when my pants didn’t attempt to cut off blood-flow and threaten to leave me legless. I miss the days when I could buy a nice little black dress and get wolf-whistles from the construction guys as I walked past. Now I get glares from passers-by as soon as I try to eat something that isn’t a salad. I’ll say it again – it sucks.
I also have no direction. I dunno where I want to be 1 year, 2 years, 10 years from now. I feel like the future holds no excitement for me, and I’m just not happy about anything anymore. Being a secretary was alright when I graduated – it’s pretty hard to get a job after all, and in that recession I was lucky to get a foot in the door. 7 years later though and I’m still a secretary. No one has offered me any hint of promotion, even though my degree could totally apply to what my company specializes in. I’ve given up trying. But I don’t want to give up.
I want to change.
—
I’ve given myself 100 days.
I don’t fully know everything I want to achieve in those 100 days, but I do know that:
- I wanna lose at least 10kg
- I wanna learn something new every month
- I wanna try something crazy every week
- I wanna find a man (even if that means online dating – eek!)
- I wanna find out what to do with my life.
I’m going to document my 100 days of change here, starting from Day 1 tomorrow. I promise that in 100 days, my pitiful story above is gonna take a dramatic turn. Right now I feel like I’m failing at life. In 100 days, I’m gonna get a damn A+.
Here goes nothing.
Cammy Is Fat 